iPhone and TV battles continued

Like every man, woman and child on the planet, I recently bought an iphone. I did so under the pretence of actually needing the thing, while in reality using the shiny new toy to momentarily distract me from the soul crushing, pointless banality of my existence, as well as the plummeting journey towards senility, incontinence and a potentially lonely, painful death that myself and all I care about are taking at this very moment.

So, the iphone really hit the spot.

One of the features that impresses me the most, apart obviously from the 24 hour access to hard core pornography, is the Google map. Having as I do, the directional sense of a potato, this will inevitably become of slightly more use than oxygen. I will no longer get lost wandering around down town Zurich, trying to find the Pfister store so I can stand for hours and hours outside laughing at the sign.

So I mentioned in the last post about the frequent god awful TV programmes I am subjected to at the delicate, and yet cruel, cruel hands of my girlfriend. A typical conversation will start with a fair discussion, her generally claiming that Hollyoaks, for example, isn’t something she has to engage her brain for after a long day at work. I will retort that she could achieve the exact same result by going and sitting in the corner, staring vacantly at a crack in the wall. The mighty logic of this suggestion will have no sway however. I’ll briefly toy with the idea of using my weight and power advantage to brutally beat her until she relinquishes control of the remote, but generally by this point she’ll have threatened to withhold blowjobs, and thus the argument is lost.

Anyway, tonight is revenge for all that raping of my masculinity. Man U versus, if the press are to be believed, David Beckham’s haircut. I got home early, put Sky Sports on, and pressed the button on the remote that ensures it controls only the stereo. This will utterly foil her. Worst case scenario, I watch the game to a backdrop of All Saints at 50 decibels.